Well I went to see my dad today at the nursing home/rehab facility. I know intellectually that he is better, but he is still so, well not fragile exactly, but weak, and tired, and in and out of it. He has never been a really touchy feely guy. I mean he wasn’t “cold”, he is funny, and social and everything, but not necessarily someone who would say “I love you” out of the blue or anything. I’ve had a lot of health problems myself, and he would hug me and say “I’m sorry for your troubles”. I think it’s an Irish thing. But he would have his whole heart in that hug and that one sentence. But now, every time I see him or talk on the phone, the first thing he says is that he loves me. Sometimes he’s crying. Now, I’m a Clinical Social Worker. And I’ve had my own health problems. So I know from both a professional and a personal place that when you are really sick, and certainly when you have been really close to death, your whole emotional state is affected. But it is kind of freaking me out. I almost feel like he is saying goodbye. Now, medically he is doing amazingly well. And my mom and my brother keep telling me that the change is miraculous, so I’m trying to keep telling myself this, but it is just something that I didn’t expect, I guess. But every day he is getting better, so that is the important thing. I just need to make sure his mental health keeps up with his physical health. I swear doing those Polyvore collages help keep me sane!!!

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